Whenever I tell my family, “Embrace your mistakes,” my wife hugs me. It’s nice.
We’ve all made mistakes, and we’re going to make more. We’re imperfect people who do imperfect things in an imperfect world. Mistakes don’t feel good. They can be very uncomfortable. Achieving success is an imperfect process.
Who hasn’t said things they wish they could take back, did things that caused injury, made the wrong choice, went the wrong way, forgot this, broke that? Show me someone who’s never made a mistake or never been embarrassed, and I’ll show you someone who has never done anything worthwhile.
Some mistakes you just have to laugh at. Other mistakes that really bother you need to be brought out into the open and talked about with someone you trust. You’ve heard, “You’re as sick as your secrets” quite a few times I imagine, and anyone’s attempt to hold on to secrets is gnawing at the soul. It’s imperative that you bring secrets out into the open to at least one person you trust. You are shining the light of the Lord where darkness cannot hide. That breaks the power of guilt or shame in your life, and the healing process can begin.
Let me propose a scenario and question. Let’s say there is a medical procedure where you go in, the medical team has you lay down and get comfortable. They slap a couple of electrodes on your temples, flip a switch, and in seconds all the mistakes you’ve ever made are wiped permanently from your mind. You wouldn’t have to relive any of them. Gone. Would you sign up for the procedure if it were free?
I can think of awesome of benefits. It would be great for your self-esteem I suppose if you didn’t have to remember the gaffes you made in front of people or the times you said the wrong thing. All of a sudden, regrets wouldn’t bother you like they have a tendency to do. You wouldn’t have a reason to berate yourself for bad decisions, poor judgment, and moments of uneducated stupidity.
I wouldn’t have to remember the time I was in the youth baseball championship game where I tried to steal second base. I was going to make it by a mile, and I did. The only problem was that my brother was on second base yelling “What are you doing?” I got tagged out, the inning retired, and we lost the game and the championship. It sucked to be me.
That’s not my worst mistake. Not by a longshot. But I wouldn’t mind if that one was stripped from my mental records.
Back to the question. Would you do it? It may seem like a wise move because of the freedom provided to your mind, but upon further investigation, it looks like the cons far outweigh the pros.
Although we don’t like them, mistakes are not always the enemy. In fact, if we can always find an opportunity to learn and to grow. The way to embrace mistakes is to reframe them, find the silver lining, and learn the valuable lesson being taught. There’s always a helpful lesson if we look. More often than not, you’ll find the wisdom gained was well worth the error. In fact, you can usually count them as blessings.
Mistakes made are the great teacher in our lives. They point to the right way to do something. They uncover the necessary corrections needed to make progress. Mistakes also get us to look at issues in a variety of ways and motivate us to better approaches.
The freedom that you gain from embracing your mistakes is that the likelihood of repeating the same mistake is vastly diminished. Slip-ups and inaccuracies are the guide leading you to the outcome you desire.
Your outcomes are a product of your effort, and even with effort there will be mistakes. Mistakes will ultimately lead to success if you keep trying.
We can’t let fear lead our decisions. Decisions made out of fear, fear of rejection, fear of a mistake, fear of not being as good as someone else, you name it, don’t lead to good outcomes. Fears can sabotage progress and well-being in an instant if you let them. Fears can also hold you back from making the effort to succeed, and then you’re guaranteed a lack of success.
When parents consistently save their children from making mistakes, usually with good intentions, they rob their children of the opportunity to grow. Trying to save yourself from the outcome also robs you of the opportunity to grow, make progress, or to prosper.
When we’re younger or new in a career or just starting out in something, the stakes are low. Mistakes then will have far less of a negative impact, and you’ll be darn glad you learned your lesson then as opposed to when the stakes are much higher.
Those early mistakes were my best preparation for what I do now when much more is on the line. One such instance was when I blew a speech in front of a small crowd of adults at a Lion’s Club meeting when I was a young seventh grade student. I hadn’t prepared, was overconfident, and I thought I could memorize the thing in about twenty minutes. That confidence eroded about ten minutes before I was up. It was embarrassing as I stood there with a blank mind and a startled look, and I was speechless for half of the talk. It sucked to be me, but I see the incident as a gift now.
I haven’t made that same mistake again with much bigger crowds, and I don’t think I will.
Several missteps on the small scale prevented me from making the same mistakes on a large scale when it would have otherwise been a disaster. I’m thankful for those mistakes.
You can tell your child to not touch the pan on the stove. You tell the little one “It’s hot and will burn your little finger.” But defiance, curiosity, or both take over, the child touches the pan, and indeed, it’s hot. The wailing begins instantly.
I suppose there are several lesson topics to be drawn from the young one here including obedience, trust, defiance, listening, safety, and pain. For me, the hard way always seemed to be my lesson preference.
Parents. You don’t have to let your child touch the pan but do allow him or her to make a few mistakes. The growth as a result of the experience is more valuable than sparing a bit of pain. You’re stealing the golden opportunity from you both.
If you’re a person afraid of making mistakes, you’ve got to understand these truths. When we make an effort, we risk making mistakes. With mistakes comes successes. Without effort comes nothing. Fear of rejection can keep you single. Fear of competition keeps you on the sidelines. Fear of speaking up keeps you from advancing up the corporate ladder.
Two adults are faced with the same opportunities and a mistake is made. One person instantly gets frustrated and is deterred from further attempts, walks away, gives up, quits. The other person understands that the opportunity to succeed is primed. Success is closer than ever! He recognizes the increased chances for breakthrough, successes, wins, love, learning, growth, maturity, opportunities, exposure, fun, and so on. The second person is on their way to a new freedom. That’s my desire for you.
I also understand that some mistakes, especially with drinking and drugging, can have devastating consequences. Maybe you’re living with major consequences from your addiction whether it be harm to others or yourself. I know a lot of people in this position.
I’ve worked with a couple of people whose mishaps ended a life. Even then, bringing your identity down to one mistake and bathing in shame for a lifetime is not acceptable. Mistakes only refine us, not define us.
If you think that your mistake makes you a mistake, stop it now! You’re buying a lie. You are unique, special, and you have immense value. God loves you, and so do many other people. You have great things to offer and things to do. You deserve a good life just like everyone else.
We need to get you out of that negative mindset and on to living. Your success depends on a clean conscience and honesty with yourself, others, and with God. Like I mentioned before, you need to talk about it. In your meetings, groups, with a sponsor, therapist, or coach.
Perhaps, you turned to drinking or using to cope with mistakes or a major mistake of your past. Until you come to grips that you’re not a bad person and you’re not beyond repair, you won’t begin to heal and successfully become clean for good.
There are still lessons to be learned, and once you understand those lessons, then you can share your victory, strength, and hope with others who need to hear them. You matter. Your story matters. The breakthroughs and progress instill hope to others who struggle so that they too can experience breakthroughs and life change.
If your experience can save others from the pain or suffering you’ve endured, that’s a beautiful thing! Your story, mistakes and all, might make all the difference in the lives of many, maybe even the difference of life and death. If so, you may have just found your life’s purpose.
Your mistakes will make for some great stories too. Embracing your mistakes and telling your story not only benefits others, but it’s also key to reinforcing your own recovery. You’re not fighting against your past; you’re taking it in the same direction you’re headed. Friction becomes momentum, and a win-win, thrive-thrive result occurs.
Every winner stands on top of a mountain of mistakes, and their impact has no limits. Think of what you learned from most mistakes – you don’t have to make the same one again! Mistakes are important to your personal development and achievement as they set us on a new course of action toward the best version of you.
Eliminate regrets by taking the opportunity to live to the fullest. Just live, love, laugh, learn, and lead. Be in the moment and never make the mistake of not forgiving. Not only others, but yourself too.
Failed attempts aren’t mistakes Wisdom and discernment will help you to know when to persist or when to move on. Don’t do the same thing over and over expecting a different result.
One mistake doesn’t make you a failure any more than unclogging a sink makes you a plumber. You’re going to mess up. Don’t waste your time and energy on the mistake itself wishing it didn’t happen. Self-sabotage does nothing good for you. It only keeps you down.
Be kind and understanding with yourself. Find humor in situations as you can and when appropriate. Focus on getting back in your lane and moving again in the right direction.
I’ll close with these words. “Go ahead and make some mistakes – just make new ones.”