Stand Guard and Be Ready.
Expect the bad band of three brothers, Guilt, Shame, and Fear, to storm the gates of your mind. They may have been what drove you toward abusing drugs or alcohol in the first place. Be ready. Have a plan.
Certain emotions like sadness or depression can also try to pull you down, and that’s when you’ll need to remind yourself of the positive path that you’re now on, weigh the consequences of a slip up, and utilize the tools and support group that you’ll need to develop if you haven’t already.
When cruising down memory lane, you don’t have to shut out all the good times, and it will be okay to reminisce more later. However, you don’t want to glorify your entire past as if it was the good ole days. There’s nothing lovely about addiction.
Try not to make big decisions on heavy matters in early recovery, or at least try to not put yourself in a position where you have to make big decisions. The weight of it can cause anxiety and make us think of the old way to gain a dose of serenity. If you can, put off the need to decide until a time you’re more stable.
Many think that when they enter recovery that their life’s leisure is over, and that the possibility of ever having fun again has been snatched away by recovery. We associated drugs and alcohol with anything we considered fun and entertaining, and it’s easy to think that your life is now destined for a substandard quality. That’s what I thought. I was
Understand that you’re not damaged goods, second rate, or disadvantaged. Recovery isn’t a limitation. In fact, it’s a superpower. The “real you” is about to emerge, and you will have fun again. The rest of your life and the best of your life are ahead of you.
Set yourself up for success by removing physical triggers, stay away from risky places, try to control your emotions, toss all substances and paraphernalia, erase your drug dealer’s number, tell your spouse of accountability of any backdoors, escape hatches, shortcuts, and back-up plans. If they don’t exist, you won’t be mindful of them. Let it all go. If you’re holding onto a souvenir of your dysfunction, you need to ask yourself if you truly want to be well.
I want you to hate your addiction, not yourself. Like a bad friend, your drug of choice comes alongside of you claiming to take care of you, be your friend, comfort you in tough times, and to have your back when others don’t. About the time you and your friend are joined at the hip (or the lip in this case), it turns on you, steals your money and your time, ruins your reputation, and tries to destroy your future. It causes you a lot of pain, and then, it plots to kill you. Your addiction isn’t your friend. You’ll need to remember that.
You would like to think that once you break free from your habit knowing all the trouble it caused that we would never go back to our previous ways. But the enticement comes and the carrot dangles. Plus, the fear of the unknown will come calling trying to keep you from wholeheartedly “buying in” to the good life that’s to come. Know that the unknown is where opportunity lies.
When old negative thought attempt to dominate your attention, take those thoughts captive and change your thinking toward something more constructive and value-added like your awesome future. This is a skill that you can master. If you don’t like what you’re thinking, or if you’re entertaining unhealthy thoughts, change your thinking in a snap and keep your eyes on the prize for which you are about to receive.
Value yourself and your life to move past any obsession or craving that can suddenly occur and wait it out until it passes. It will likely come, and it will pass. This bit of wisdom saved me from many relapses.
Relapse is a process, not an occurrence. At any point in the process, you can take a way out, but the further you’re into it you are, the more difficult it is to abstain. Triggers can be people places and things you associate with your substance abuse or negative experiences. It starts with a feeling associated with triggers.
The feeling moves to thoughts that conflict with one another as part of your mind is fighting it while the other part seems to be falling back into an addictive behavior. Even at this stage, you can turn away from the relapse. The final stage is ignoring or minimizing what you know to be true and physically engaging in use.
Should a relapse ever happen, you need to jump back into recovery, strengthen your support before something serious takes place. You have to want to be well and fully committed before this program can truly succeed. One foot in and one foot out is a head start toward failure. If you have any questions about that, ask my brother Mike. No wait, he’s dead. Ask Brent, Joe, or Kenny. Hold on. They’re not around anymore either. Neither can John, Marty, Matt, Bill… I think you get the point.
There is Much to Do.
Addiction is most often the result of an unsatisfied search for meaning and connection. At this point, the vacuum left from becoming clean yearns to be filled, and the reason for becoming an addict in the first place may not have been addressed. Until the vacancy can be filled can be filled with the passionate pursuit of what matters most, you will experience inner-conflict and uneasiness. Let not your heart be troubled. You’ll get there, and it may be sooner than you think.
In the meantime, support, support, support is crucial for someone in early recovery. You need to be around people that care about you and want to see you get better.
This is where I come in. As a Life and Performance Coach who identifies and has been there, I get it. I know the overwhelming load and responsibility of those in recovery. And let me tell you, there’s too much to do, too much to know, and way too much at stake to leave it to chance. If there were ever a time and place of greatest need for what I do, that would be here and now.
Why would a Life Coach be a good idea? (Joanetta, maybe itemize these below
A person in recovery is tasked with much responsibility. He must learn to think differently, act differently, break habits, adapt new ones, solve problems, face issues dilemmas, identify triggers, keep growing, maintain nutrition, exercise often, endure the struggles, relax, build integrity, restore respect, gain trust, go to meetings, make an inventory, work the steps, forgive others, forgive yourself, avoid social pressures, stay the course, work with, conquer fears, install and engage a support system, resolve emotional baggage, grieve losses, return to work, tune in to the spirit, never isolate, get answers to questions, flee the wickedness, preserve hope, love without condition, progress not perfection, manage finances, keep going, remember were they’ve been, prevent compromise, stand firm, make new friends, stay in your lane, pray often, mend relationships, be kind to others and yourself, prepare for a new reality, maintain excitement, set goals, establish boundaries, cast a vision, know what you control and what you don’t, be patient, navigate the changes, confront difficulties, dispel lies, live in the moment, stay inspired, remain motivated, adapt healthy mindsets, deny distractions, be true to yourself, be encouraged, think positive, know when to charge and when not to, honor God, and refuse to drink or use no matter what.
Call me. And then, buckle up! My objective is far beyond just getting you well. Where I want to take you, there is no finish line. I’ll help you redeem it all for your limitless future!