Early Abstinence Isn’t a Walk in the Park
Once you begin recovery, it doesn’t mean that everything is rosy. In fact, it’s when the real work begins. You must believe you can do it. Why? Because you can. It may be the hardest thing you’ll ever do, but the payoff is incredible.
To anyone new in recovery, it’s essential to know what to expect in the coming days and months so that you’re more prepared to deal with whatever comes your way. If you thought it was a walk in the park, you might bail when it became harder than you anticipated. If you think it’s practically impossible, you might tend to put it off until National Procrastination Day, which is always postponed. Knowing what to expect at various stages will allow you to endure the journey.
Commit to do what it takes. You still have some rough road to go, and I know it can be painful coming off an addiction of any kind. The unexpected will try to trip you up. What will people think? Where will I turn when I’m on edge or anxious? How will I celebrate? Ask the questions. Talk about the hang-ups, problems, worries, uncertainties, doubts, apprehensions, and struggles. HOW you get through recovery is by being Honest, Open, and Willing.
A special note to my fellow opioid addict friends…
You’ve probably found out by now that the withdrawal from narcotics is extremely uncomfortable. Recovery is rough for any substance abuser, but due to the nature of the drug and its effect on the brain, abstinence is very difficult in the beginning when you’ll likely deal with sleep problems, restless legs, bone pain, fatigue, tiredness, anxiety, and intense cravings. Those symptoms can pass in a matter of days, but the cravings and a general lousy feeling can last much longer.
If you think you’re at your wits end, hold on, know that it will get better soon. I promise. Maintain your grit and bravery. Your perseverance will be so worth it, and you won’t have to go through it again.
Some of you may elect to medicate symptoms under a doctor’s care with buprenorphine, methadone and naloxone. Suboxone has become a popular treatment, but these treatments can be expensive, although more insurance companies are providing coverage.
No matter how you handle your recovery, you don’t want to criticize a person who approaches treatment differently than you. There’s no shame either way, and everyone should be welcome to fully participate in meetings and groups without rebuke. After all, we’re all in this together.
You’ve kicked fear to the curb to begin this journey, and that fearlessness will be tested. Every test that’s passed will makes you stronger. Possibly you experienced a major career setback in the throes of your addiction that shattered your goals and dreams, and you feel way behind the rest of the pack if you lost your job, a marriage, custody, or something else of value.
You’ll need to face these things head on at some point, but in early sobriety, you need to shield yourself from overthinking these things. You can’t go back to drugs and alcohol when an unsettling incident or emotion occurs. It’s not your go to anymore. Your go to is your recovery network, sponsor, coach, family, therapist, positive media, and positive thinking.
Anticipate the many issues that may come up and have a plan. Maybe be a fine, court case, relationship stuff, tending to your business, or returning to work demands your time and attention earlier than you would have liked. Use your tools. Use your support. Continue to smack fear in the face. You got this! Remember this if you can. Your freedom is on the other side of your fears.
Remember, this is only a short season of your life. You won’t feel bad forever, and a day will come when you’re not feeling hopelessly pressed on all sides. We have seasons of our lives that require everything we have. Starting a business, getting an advanced degree, healing from a surgery, or dealing with a crisis are some examples.
All are different, but these are seasons hit us hard and can push us beyond our limits. Seasons are temporary. Your performance in this season decides the extent of the victory in the seasons that follow. Treat your recovery as an investment and seek to maximize your ROI. You’ll be back on top soon, but for now, accept it and work it. This is not a wasted season. It may be the worst now, but you’ll find it to be the best later.
A special note to my fellow opiate addicts and anyone who is experiencing a time of agony, I feel for you my friends and wish I could take it from you. If you think you’re at your wits end, hold on, know that it will get better soon. I promise. Maintain your grit and bravery. Your perseverance will be so worth it, and you don’t have to go through it again.
What you are doing and what you are going through is highly respected by millions who have also made the leap. You didn’t get a ticker tape parade when you became clean and sober, and if a celebration never takes place in your honor, that’s OK. You are becoming part of something much bigger than you, and if you stay the course, your reward will be much more than a parade.
Be prepared for the fact that not everyone may be as excited as you are for your new life. A few may be skeptical and reasonably so. Other may not know exactly how to handle you as this new entity of rigorous honesty. A person with opinions and convictions suddenly bursts on the scene. Humility will be your friend in cases such as this. They need time to adjust, and it takes time for you to build back the trust that has eroded.
There’s a very interesting dynamic I came across, and I want to give you a heads up on it. I found that Godly people are the most understanding of your situation and your past. I remember one client who expected his Christians from church to turn their backs on him in disgust at the depth of his sinning, as if they can’t handle the really messed up people. He found that the real Christians are just the opposite.
They’re not startled or taken back by the worst of stories, and they applaud the repentant person who is turning back to God. They understand the struggle, and they know where the victory comes from.
But the ones that are abnormally hard on you, the people who are mad that you’re getting attention or equal priority, are usually the ones who have big issues of their own. This transference is to cover up their own immoralities or vices. Keep in mind it’s not 100% accurate, but it is very likely the case.
If “Christian” is not quite where you’re at right now, that’s fine. We won’t get hung up on it. It’s my hope that you discover the real source of freedom and the one who breaks the chains of bondage, but I won’t beat you over the head with a bible…unless you want me to.
By the way, church is a great place for recovering addicts and alkies, and don’t think you have to clean up your act before going. That’s like saying you need to get well before seeing the doctor.